杂想 ; Random Thoughts |1:36 AM

To begin, this would be the most disjointed entry in quite awhile, as my mind is in a rather disjointed and scarcely coherent state anyway. One thing to note here too is that this may probably be my last entry here for the next many months, as i heard from my some of my pals that in China, where i would be leaving for really soon, they have censored out blogspots. Will attempt to get a temporary blog address over there if this is proven true.

Chunk 1

Oh well, to begin, Sex and The City Season 6 is rather good and is in fact the best so far of the 6 seasons, have rushed all the way through the 1st five discs and would be down to the last disc tomorrow evening. yup. Loads of emotional meat and not all sex. Slightly more ' real' in a certain manner. Go watch it. You could even skip all 5 seasons and rush to sixth season 1st. For all you know you may like it and want to watch the prior 5 seasons. =p

Chunk 2

The past week or so, has been a big fat mad rush. With the usual Chinese New Year celebrations and visiting and all. On top of that, i am attempting to cramp the meeting up with most if not all of my friends before i leave for Shanghai coming wednesday. Then it suddenly dawned on me. I am missing all of you guys and gals already even before i have flown off and that SUCKS. I blame all of you for that. haha.

Chunk 3

I love my family. Loads and loads of it, despite all the crap that we give one another over the years. I gotta apologise for all the times that i told to myself that 'Why do i have to go through this? Why am in not in another XXXYYY's situation instead? Why?', as i genuinely feel that despite all the flaws and stuff that may seem like flaws, we are almost ...... perfect! haha. Now for some puke inducing declarations ' I love you Ma, Pa and Bro! ' =)

Sometimes, i feel, that most problems at home are usually due to that fact that we are too alike and the fact that we keep our feelings from one another way too darn much. We really should try very hard to listen more and express our feelings more. Perhaps its the typical Asain mindset, but well, that's who we are.

Chunk 4

Probably from the previous few entries it could be observed that i am rather confused and muddled particularly in the emotional aspect of my life. Well, if you ain;t sharp enough to pick it up from those entries, then well, i am here tell you i am. haha. Perhaps i am too wishy washy(po2 po2 ma1 ma1 in Chinese) or perhaps i keep denying myself and keep giving myself excuses as to delay and postpone any actual declarations, but well, it seems that it is all too late now and i can only do anything about it only six months or more later. Seriously, sometimes i wish were more decisive and believe more in myself, that way i would have a far easier life as to less troubling and bad days, at the same time give people around me a far easier time too as they do not have to decipher my actions too much. Just gotta learn the hard way then. Oh well, hope for the best six months later then. =]

That's all the crap i have for now.

Da Neo
Mood: Cranky
Music: Brandy - Never Say Never
moo.
Daneo.

-got milk?-