Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I Am Altec

Hi all. My name is Altec Lansing. You can call me Altec. Forgot what is my full name course its too long to remember. My memory is really failing me. Perhaps the stupidity diffused from my idiotic owner who coincidentally has a memory capacity worse than that of a goldfish. Life was good. Or at least from what I can recall. Funnily with my shitty memory, I could still remember the day when I was gloriously ‘chosen’ to be the one. It was on Christmas Eve. There were 2 clowns pacing up down the aisle in my temporary state of residence at Tampines’ Challenger. Then Clown Number 1, my owner picked me up and went to the counter, reaching into his pocket for his wallet to pay for me. However, Clown Number 2 (you know who u are!), intercepted with his orange DBS debit card and graciously signed and paid for me. So much for a ‘surprise’ birthday gift for Clown Number 1? Hahahaha. How blur can he get? Stupid, stupid owner.

The next few days were a blur with me bumping around in the cardboard box with Styrofoam, making me so nauseaous. Bleh! I was placed on a table in a dingy old room, with dusty tables and all. Boy was I happy, finally to be able to breathe fresh air. Although I was occasionally shifted at least twice to 2 other smiliarly dusty places, my lousy owner always bothered to give me some exercise by blasting me up. WOOO! The euphoria rocks, with me gyrating and vibrating to those exciting beats. WOO!

My life took a turn for the bad when one day my owner shelved me. For 6 whole months and flew to Shanghai to have a jolly good time. Curse him! Really cramps my style you know!

Now, I am back on a dusty table, on a cluttered table in some place called Hall 10. BUT I have never felt WORST! I have dust gathering all over me AND its been ages since I got a good workout! Curse my owner’s roomie, who cannot stand music when he is studying AND he is studying ALL THE TIME whenever he is in the room. AND he is ALWAYS IN THE ROOM! Somebody KILL HIM! Or ME! ROAR! I want my life back! I want to feel the high of music and gyrate to the beat! My life SUCKS!

Sob sob…….

Music: Justin Timberlake- SexyBack Feat. Timbaland (On earphones)
Mood of owner : Crazy
My Mood : Crazier

|Daneo| 2:38 PM|

------ Monday, October 30, 2006

My Heart Works This Way

Miss (Courtesy of: http://www.dictionary.com/)

1) To fail to hit, reach, catch, meet or otherwise make contact with.
2) To fail to perceive, understand, or experience: completely missed the point of the film.
3) To accomplish, achieve or attain (a goal).
4) To fail to attend or perform: never missed a day of work.
5) To leave out; omit
6) To let go by; let slip: miss a chance
7) To escape or avoid: narrowly missed crashing into a tree
8) To discover the absence or loss of
9) To feel the lack or loss of : Do you miss your family?
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Was commented upon that I do not think, feel, miss enough. Then it dawned on me. How would anyone know I have not been missing/thinking/feeling enough? Unless you have penetrative eyes and X-Ray Vision to see quite a few mm through me, through the skin, flesh, veins, ribs to get through to my heart and analyse what has been going through this pumping piece of flesh.
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Again, Dictionary.com
Feel – to be emotionally affected by

At least to me, feeling and missing could only be experienced and encountered by the individual in question and no one else could get the exact same sensation emanating from the exact same source (your heart). Put it simply, no one will ever get exactly how you feel at any point in time. Well, at least I think my heart works this way. How about yours?

Then it all boils down to self expression and vocalisation of these feelings, these thoughts and these sensations. Perhaps what this cow lacks is the ability to translate these into words. That would have to be learnt. (CHECK!)
It baffles this cow sometimes. How amazingly flawed he is. There seems to be this constant need to adapt, to change, to modify or in other’s perspective “to improve”? Has anyone stopped and observed how naturally beautiful these flaws could be, IF given a chance to flourish and bloom and not be coerced into submission and even disappearance? Perhaps in time to come, this cow may even stop being a cow anymore and lose himself in the endless pursuit to fit in and change. Will there ever be this day where this cow could charge freely at anything and not have to worry about the colour of its spots?

This cow is depressed. This cow needs a break. From reality. From life. From comments, prejudice or even hatred, Look at this cow with love, appreciation and approval, occasionally, or, at least, for today.

Please.

Music: Sarah Mclachlan – Hold On
Hold on.
Hold on to yourself.
This is gonna hurt like hell.

|Daneo| 1:33 AM|

------ Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Rain

It was drizzling
All day or most of it anyway
Ended work early in the lab
But still
Too late to catch the shuttle bus back to my room
Thus, walk I did
To be precise
It was a stroll
A stroll along the dark unsheltered roads to ‘home’
A stroll in the rain
Accompanied only by a constant breeze
Then it came
Gradually
Dripping, gathering, drenching
Before I knew it
I was soaked
Yet strangely
It felt warm
It was warm because I had you

Thinking of you

Music: Faye Wong – 暗涌

|Daneo| 11:13 PM|

------ Thursday, October 19, 2006

Blah

Bored.

Exhausted.

Physically & mentally.

Staring into space.

Attempting to make sense of everything.

Nothing falls in place.

Nothing at all.

I'm a loser.

Yours Truly,

Moo.

Music: Green Day - Give Me Novacaine

|Daneo| 4:44 PM|

------ Monday, October 16, 2006

Minority Me

Its amazing how the simplest events in a day can leave you thinking and go hmmmmm.....

I went over to lab today to work on FYP. I was so engrossed in rushing and completing my work for the day that i did not even noticed when nightfall came. In fact, i needed someone else to ask me along for dinner, did i realised that i have worked around 5 to 6 hours straight.

Well, off i went for dinner with a huge group of people consisting mainly of PHD students who were working late in the lab. It was only halfway through the dinner did i realise that i was actually the minority in the group. Firstly, i was one of the two non PHD students out of a table of 8. Secondly, even more shocking, was that i was probably the only Singaporean at the table! What are the odds of that? In Singapore ok? Mind you!

It also alerted me to another more disturbing phenomenon that are Singaporeans really that inferior? Why are most PHD and other postgraduate posiitons mainly filled up by foreugn students? Or is there something wrong with our eucational environment? Or, does the misconception that all foreigners and foreign stuff are better, still exist?

Interesting huh?

Moo

Music : 梁静茹 - 亲亲
Mood: Bored like crap

|Daneo| 10:33 PM|

------ Saturday, October 14, 2006

Freaky Final Year Full oF Flukes.....

Currently being trapped in the final year of my study here at wonderfully crazy NTU, it has proven that is more mentally and physically taxing than all my other semesters here in NTU. Balancing FYP and 5 core modules is by no means an easy feat. Since day one 1 returned from China GIP, everyday has been filled with lab work and more LAB. Perhaps i have been slack for too long while i was in China and thus am still experiencing adaptation problems. But then again who isn't adapting all the time? With new challenges everyday round the corner. Its only a game of the survival of the fittest and nothing else. So yup pray that i will survive and emerge stronger. haha!

Also, with graduation day looming and getting closer everyday, the number of Career Fairs targetted towards final year clowns who will join the working society soon are increasingly abundant. It even gives you a false illusion that Singapore is booming and everyone is hiring like mad, BUT, is that true? I wonder what is the real unemployment rate out there. With some friends who graduated last year and till date cannot land a job, it leaves you wondering, how bad or how good is the situation out there. Thinking my own career, which would begin in a few months time, the current state of mind is only confusion and a slight sense of apprehension. I wonder are you guys/gals feeling it too? But then again, it may be me thinking too much once again, its still more than 6 months away from graduation. hahaha!

Am i really busy? Despite the usual and ritual indulgence in mindless online games daily and the occasional trip home to attend to stuff like birthdays and wedding dinners (where attendance is strictly compulsory), it dawned on me that i do not have much of a social life. Have i become a social reject and mindless working machine already? Even before i can be called a full fledged boring engineer? But i wanna stay forever 17, bouncy, youthful and slightly crazy! "VOMITS!"

For all of you out there who feel neglected and unnoticed, well, all i can say is you are not forgotten, its just that bloody moo moo here is bad at time management and is attemtping desperately to balance FYP, final year modules (exams round the corner u know!) , training for Standard Chartered Marathon and maintenance of marginal attendance in Chinese Orchestra. hahaha. Basically summed up its all school, School, SCHOOL! hahahaha! I'll attempt to make it up during the hols (IF i am still not bogged down by FYP GRRR!). Cheers. :)

Work hard yall!
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Interesting Quote which i mean to post long ago, but keep forgetting due to my miniscule memory

Mitch Albom - The Five People You Meet In Heaven "Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know."

My intepretation : Be NICE to everyone. You never know when these so called strangers may be useful or be related or linked to you one day. Stories to share here, relating to my lab mates. But that's another blog for another day.

Moo.

Music: Ken Hirai - Sweet Pillow
Nose: Dripping :(

|Daneo| 10:46 AM|

------ Sunday, October 08, 2006

BACK with no bang whatsoever

Back on this blog space. I don' know how long i'll sustain this time round. Sometimes it fascinates even myself how amazingly unmotivated in life I can be.

Who am I? (No pun here) Sometimes i really don't know. Is it true that the person who understands you best is seldom yourself? Perhaps and perhaps not. So many questions and so little space for this puny little mind of mine.
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With Tibetian music blaring in my ears, visions and memories of travelling in Tibet and many other parts of China seem like yesterday again. (Despite being back since 5th of August) Its those 13 days in Tibet do i feel most at peace with myself. The tranquility, the scenery, the people, the poverty AND the rich, the culture, the religion, the music and the whole experience of being out there more or less alone. It also taught me something, Loneliness is not that fearful afterall. It may even serve to elevate your mental and spriritual strength in more ways you know. In certain sense, I do miss that sense of loneliness sometimes. Its cleansing. Almost like a quadruple detox. You feel clean after that.
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Me and my ranting. As usual. If you can't make much sense out of what i write, well i don't too. On more than one occasion i have mentioned this, I'm weird and perhaps bordering on eccentric and schizophrenic. Well do pop by to follow through and know this silly cow more.

Moo.

Music : 巴桑 - 天路

|Daneo| 10:44 PM|

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