Another Trial? |5:49 PM

Seriously.
God or whatever higher being out there is out to fool me.
Truly.
I strongly believe so.
It was only yesterday i finally decided to embark on a new journey.
And today,
I recieved news which could only be termed as a pending disaster,
News that my mom needs to go for an operation
On the 16th
For the removal of a growth near her nose bridge
To determine whether the growth is cancerous or not
Needless to say
If it turns out badly i will stay
No questions asked
But of course i am hoping
Hoping not entirely course i really wanna go to China
But mainly hoping that my mom would be fine
Trial after trial
Its only 25 years thus far
How much more do you want me to go through
Is this just another trial?
I have survived so many
I believe i would survive again
But why me?
Why this time?
I really don't know
Emotions now?
Not anger, not sadness, not regret, not nothing
But this sheer fear and utter despair
Perhaps, just perhaps
I admit defeat
Finally

Mood - ?
Music - John Mraz- I'm Yours (Its playing in the background anyway)

Leave me alone, you bloody mother fucker. Why can't you just let me be happy?
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Have decided to keep the feel good song as my blog song. But now, it almost seems pathetic and gloating rather than happy. Oh well, life is this way ain't it so?
___________________________________________________________________

I am so silly
Just so silly
The lack of exercise and outdoor activities has dulled my brain
After a short jog and loads of panting, i finally realised
This is not about me
Nothing at all
I'm sorry for even thinking and writing the above crap
But it shall not be deleted and shall stay as a lesson to me
Good luck mom
I hope everything turns out fine
Please be fine
moo.
Daneo.

-got milk?-