Choices? |2:24 PM

Life is all about choices.
Choosing what you eat for dinner
Choosing to watch that pirated dvd instead of in the theaters
Choosing to fly many thousands of miles to work instead of staying at home
Choosing to spend numerous hours online hoping to chat with your friends instead of just plain old sleeping or reading the news or doing something more productive
Choosing to continuously babble mindlessly online, bare for all to see
Choosing to speak up or not
Choosing to selectively share information to whoever
Choosing to just continue breathing
But choosing to be happy?
I doubt so. It is seldom so easy. I wished it were though. Really. Perhaps my past encounter with depression was never really gone. I think sooooo much sometimes that it scares me. Perhaps my intellect combined with my pessimism is just too developed for my puny little mind to handle. (Haha! What a way to praise and belittle myself in 1 sentence ehy?)

How often do you feel like you are stuck in situations when you don’t really have a choice?

For me? Too many. Way too many that I would really like.

The most recent one was the posting to a team which will take effect after 3 months of training here. Basically I was “chosen” to be in the team by pure elimination and the following factors.

· I am TOO NICE
· I did quite OK for some of the hands-on tests we had
· My passport is good for easy application for visas to most countries.

Basically, I am to be in a team to learn to become a technical guru and walking manual for all if not most of the machines used in the manufacturing of mobile phones, so I can fly to places (commonly third world or developing nations) to assist in the setting of new plants or new production lines and assist them till their mass production stabilizes. Put it in an even simpler way, I am just some glorified technician with a better degree. As good as this may sound to many of you reading this, just so you know, all four of us here were all NOT too keen on this position because of the technicality and the “menial” labour style of working as compared to the other positions in other teams. Guess you can say yours truly is the very lucky one ehy? Since when did being nice and hands-on enough be something you should be penalized on? Shouldn’t I be given more choice? Perhaps this is reality. The cold and harsh working world, where choices and preferences don’t really matter anymore.

I know I should not give up and bitch about stuff that I have not really encountered first hand yet. But can you blame me? Literally having this post shoved down my throat, while the rest more or less could choose a little and have slightly more managerial roles which provides more interaction with external customers.

Sometimes I just wonder. Where will this lead me? BUT. As the saying goes, ”If you never try, you will never know” . Or will I?

Moody, over-analyzing and overly pessimistic.
As usual.
moo.
Daneo.

-got milk?-